Is a judgement and uses language that evaluates
Is given when the person is successful
Promotes competition by comparing one performance with another
Fosters dependence on the opinions of others
Uses language that notices
Makes a person feel valued
Focuses on individual effort and progress
Recognizes contribution to the common good
Fosters independence, initiative and motivation
Allows for mistakes because learning is a process
The language of Encouragement (Evans 1995, Dreikurs, Grunwald and Pepper 1982)
I think you can do it.
You’re a hard worker.
What do you think?
I could use your help.
What can we do to solve this problem?
You put a lot of effort into your work.
I know you did your best.
I admire this or that about you.
Here, let me do that for you.
Be careful; it’s dangerous.
Don’t forget to do this or that.
When you are older, more spiritual, more skilled etc, you can help.
I told you it wouldn’t work.
I’m so proud when you do well.
You did better than anyone else.