Resilience

As children get to Preschool and school they will confront unpleasant comments from other children such as "you are not my friend" and " you cannot play with me". How do we teach our children to deal with this and build resilience?

It is important to work with our children on 'loving your enemies'. The best resource is you. Build a strong family identity and the need to be loved by peers is greatly diminished. Deal with this in conversation when it happens.

If a child tells your child that he doesn't like him, tell your child that he said it to get a reaction out of him, because he had no reason not to like him. The next time he says it, tell your child to respond with a shrug and say "Okay" and find someone else to play with. If someone tells them they are not their friend, teach them to say, "Well, you are my friend!", smile and walk away. Remember, a soft answer turns away anger.

Tell the children that if they showed the other children that they had hurt their feelings or made them angry or sad, the other child got the victory.
If you want your child to get the victory then you need to teach them to stay calm and walk away.

Jesus said that we should love our enemies and by being kind to someone who is not showing love to us is like heaping coals of fire on their head. We must teach our children self-control.

If possible, starting now, find same-aged children at your church who will go to the same school and have them spend time together on a regular basis so your child has a friend or 2 already before he starts. That and family identity and calm parents are the best weapons you can give your children.